Narcissistic Personality Disorder
High self esteem is not something to be disappointed in. It is important to feel good about one’s own appearance, abilities and achievements. The problem arises when the confidence goes further and therefore harms relationships with others. Narcissus is a legendary figure that fell in love with his own reflection. That is where the term Narcissistic Personality Disorder comes from. A narcissist feels some superiority about his own accomplishments and abilities and possessions and appearance and so on. It doesn’t take very much imagination to consider how this type of outlook on life could damage personal relationships.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Relationships
A person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder probably has rocky relationships. He associates only with those people he considers to be among the elite and so among those who are appropriate to socialize with. He wears high end clothing, attends an expensive school and has an enviable career. If his friends do not live up to his standards, he is very quick to harshly reject them. If the friends are of the same mindset, the relationships may last and continue on rocky paths. People without similar judgmental tendencies may not stick around to maintain a friendship with him.
The person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder is also very jealous. Since he believes that he is entitled to the best of everything, he is very sensitive to instances in which others own or receive possessions or entitlements that he does not have. Sometimes the person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder is jealous of his own family and children. He will have very high expectations of his children, but will be in competition with them at the same time. Jealousy can be one of the most painful pieces of this disorder for the sufferer as well as for his close relations.
A third relational difficulty that a person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder will have is one of impatience. He will openly discuss and ruminate on personal preferences, opinions and experiences whether they are appropriate or not. Even hurtful comments will be said openly. At the same time, he will have no patience to hear anyone else’s comments or feelings. Should someone say something offensive or hurtful, he will not accept it well and will probably disassociate himself from that person.
Symptoms
A person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder needs to be admired by others, but is not able to offer any amiable attention or regard for the feelings of others. He thinks of himself as being very important and special compared to most other people. He may even use other people in order to achieve his own needs and interests. While arrogant and convinced of his own importance, he is nevertheless jealous of others.
Treatment
Psychiatrists agree that it is very difficult for a person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder to change. They are simply convinced of the order of the world. The recommendation is to prepare oneself for disappointments and look forward to the happy times in life. When hurts do come about, remember the accomplishments as well.
Frances, Allen MD and First, Michael B. MD. Your Mental Health: A Layman’s Guide to
the Psychiatrist’s Bible. New York: Scribner, 1998.
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